It's working!

Hesitantly I broadcast my faith and faith journey, starting by logging in here today: hesitantly because I don't want to be judged by cohorts or future employers, but logging in today because I don't want to lose the memories of this journey and I feel that by keeping it to myself, I'm not sharing the Gospel as the Bible and Jesus compel me to.

But the course I've set out for myself is working, and I'm so very excited about it that I can hardly contain myself for just a few words at the least. I'm going to try to be coherent here; please don't judge if this post is a little out of sorts. I'm going to try and simply state what has been going on with me spiritually in the past month, because for me it has been the start of a wonderful adventure and relationship with God.

I started reading some of the many books on my bookshelf a few weeks ago. I've been trying to get more involved in the church and its ministry since moving back to Davis a year ago, so I bought a copy of _Theology: the Basics_ by Alister E. McGrath to read along with Pastor J. It's kind of dense but has been answering some of the toughest questions a Christian might have about their faith by quoting some of the biggest names in Christian theology over the years, and so I've found it helpful for that sake.

I also started and finished reading _How to Hear from God_ by Joyce Meyer, which began to answer for me the major question "Now that I have started to pray to God in earnest, how do I hear His answers?" Reading the Bible, listening to others, prophecy, dreams, little inner voices, supernatural occurrences and listening to one's self speak are all ways suggested within the book.

And _God's Joyful Surprise_, by Sue Monk Kidd, advocates meditation. Now, today I just went to the library and found a book all about mindfulness and how to meditate. I think this is a small sign that meditation will be helpful, and the words of a fellow Christian advocating meditation as a way to commune with Christ are coming back to me as an early sign for something that I wasn't ready for then, but am now. Funny how life works like that. Something that wasn't appealing or even appearing helpful now appears to be a number one way to pray to God now.

Another book I read and highly recommend for those looking for Christian advice and humor is _My Monestary is a Minivan_ by Denise Roy. It is a book about a woman who went through a Catholic seminary only to become a priest to her four children instead of becoming a minister. It has a belly laugh or two within each of the stories, and is generally good clean fun with some helpful tips on building faith.

I recieved a devotional book from my Secret Prayer Partner at the revelatory meeting we held on Palm Sunday which I've been reading. Today's reading made me so happy: I had written earlier elsewhere that I was pretty sure God would turn my mustard seed of faith into enough faith before my death to send me to Heaven, although I was still a little unsure. Today's reading read: "You know that you will reach your home in My perfect timing: not one moment too soon or too late. Let the hope of heaven encourage you..." How encouraging is that! I was very excited.

And just yesterday, I was planning to look through the Christian books on the shelves at the Yolo County library. But first, I met with my Yolo Reads student, whom I am teaching English. I have rethought my decision to take the position since starting, because teaching has been considerably tougher than I thought it would be, but we had a fairly interesting, fun and rewarding conversation yesterday. What made it so? Instead of an agenda, ("let's teach grammar today" or "let's review adjectives"), we simply talked, and I corrected her sentences and defined words for her as we progressed. We got to know each other and our lives and work and faiths better as we conversed, and it was a real nice session overall. She is a Muslim and I am a Christian, and we talked about religion and the points our religions have in common, both being Abrahamic faiths. Then, after the session, I went to the shelves in search of a new book on Christianity. I threw out an open prayer to God: God, bring me something that will expand my faith and bring me closer to You. And then I saw it.

_The Faith Club_ is about three women, one Muslim, one Christian, and one Jew. It is about how they met for months to discuss the differences and the sameness of their religions and cultures. This, right after my discussion with my Islamic student, seemed just the right subject to ponder. And when I told my mother I was reading it, she responded enthusiastically that she, too, had read it, with her book club at church. So I am fairly sure that God picked the book out for me. Why? I think maybe to remind me that Christianity is not the only religion on Earth, and that to understand someone else's religion is to understand part of who they are. Perhaps I cannot truly understand my student as a person without at least a small background of what and why she believes what she does. The book looks like it can help me with that, or at least help frame questions for our next session together.

I was raised in a Christian family, but my parents have always advocated appreciation for the world, in all its variety. Liberals would find me conservative in my adherence to Christianity, Republican Christians too liberal for their tastes. I did, after all, read all three Anne Lamott's books on faith and loved them for her advocacy of a Christian life within a liberal political sphere. So does that mean that I fit in nowhere, or everywhere? I think it just means I have the ability to love across the board, love the Conservatives for their great love for Christ and Christianity, love Liberals for their open mindedness in approaching those from other backgrounds and their care of God's environment. Not to pigeonhole those two parties for those things; I love them for more reasons than those, but those are the ones that I thought of right away.

I understand that this is sticky stuff to be wading in or publishing on the web, but I truly feel like if I can love everyone, the details don't matter so much. So I am throwing myself out there and following the treasure hunt trail God is providing to me, each book drawing me closer to Him and to reading His Word, the Bible. And perhaps sharing this journey will help someone else in their journey to put Him number one as well. I can only hope.